Do you find that going to a doctor’s appointment can be overwhelming? Me too! Great, now you know you are not alone so now we can work together on this and let’s be honest having someone to go through it together with is a comfort. I am going to share with you what has helped me on my journey.
So the biggest thing actually happens before the appointment itself believe it or not. Let me ask you this, do you have thoughts running through your mind about what to say or how to say it? Me too! So at this moment is when it all starts. You need to take those thoughts and release them. For me it’s difficult at times to release them because my best thinking time seems to be when I am behind the wheel and then the mind starts running. Seeing as how I can’t really just pull over every time a thought or question pops in it poses a problem. However, majority of the time I am not alone in the car so I will out loud say to whoever is with me they need to write this down and tell them what’s on my mind. If I am alone I call my husband and tell him to write it down because if I don’t in that moment, it runs away. So as weird as it may be, you need to write down those thoughts and questions right in that moment. Today we are blessed to have technology where we can enter a note or even send ourselves a text right in the palm of our hands. I also want to mention this doesn’t have to be thoughts or questions, it is very helpful if you bring a log of symptoms and what was happening around that time. Then you can bring that with you to the appointment.
Another thing I do before the appointment is prepare myself for the worst but hope for the best. I have taught my daughters this too and yes it may be a defense mechanism but it helps so I don’t question it. In this I mean lets think logically about what I am going to encounter in this appointment and the worst outcome. Is the provider going to mesh with me? Will they hear me or just tell me I’m too young or it’s just anxiety? So thinking about that, the worst case outcome would be nothing will change and I need to find a new provider. But then on the flip side I hope for the best. “I am eager to learn something that can help me” or “This could be the appointment that sends me on a path of new possibilities that set me free of pain and doubt. So as you can see I am not talking about worst case scenarios for your health issue, I am talking about the appointment itself. This helps me so much by not feeling let down when the provider doesn’t listen or think outside the box but on the other aspect I am over the moon elated when it goes well because I feel validated on my symptoms. It would be hard and frankly suck if you have to find a new provider but it is not impossible though it may seem it at times.
Now it’s appointment day. The first thing I do on the day of going to a doctors appointment is find something to bring joy to that stressor. So if you like coffee – get a coffee, if you like doughnuts – go get that doughnut, and if you like a certain type of music – then by golly you play that music! This helps set the mindset that we are strong and empowered when we feel joyful. The nerves likely will still be there (for me they are) but it will bring another feeling in to make it not as intense.
Next step is after I parked and I am there I take a deep breath and let it all out. Now you can do more, you can do a 4 count breath or you can just sit there for a moment with normal breath. Really the importance of this step isn’t the breath itself but the stillness to allow yourself to pause. Do you recall doing something with the go go go mindset? I do, and to be honest it is definitely not as productive as when I pause for a moment. So take this pause, embrace the feelings – see them and feel them, and give yourself grace that you can do this even though it’s going to be hard but you my warrior are strong!
After I check in I start to self talk because I need to make myself believe I got this. So I will repeat things in my head that I am strong, capable and worthy. I will remind myself I have overcome 100% of my hardest days. I also remind myself I prepared for the worst and hope for the best outcome of this appointment.
In the actual appointment I make it clear that I have taken notes and would like to ask questions and discuss things. One thing I want to be clear on is the provider may see your list as too long so they ask you to take the top 3-5 worst things for this appointment and to schedule a follow up a month later for the next set. Don’t take this as not hearing them, take it as they don’t want to give partial attention to everything rather full attention to a few things. As your provider is communicating with you, I want you to fully hear them and if you struggle with processing like me – TAKE NOTES! I don’t care if it’s on your phone or in a notebook or if you forgot all that you write on a pamphlet with a borrowed office pen but please take notes. It will help you process and explain to others after the fact instead of relying on an overloaded brain to remember key details.
If you don’t understand something they are saying please ask them to clarify. 9 out of 10 providers will do this and they want you to leave the appointment with a clear understanding. If they say it in a way that doesn’t make sense ask them to explain in with an analogy or the way they would to an elementary student. There is no denying medical is hard stuff to understand but also we have to understand this is what they do for a living so they comprehend it differently. It doesn’t mean you’re dumb by any means, it means you want to understand which is a HUGE strength.
Leaving the appointment we go back to that pause, breath and reflect. After all this if you still have questions about what was said or done, write them down. When you get home call or send a message via portal right away. Don’t let your questions go unheard because that will not help you progress.
You are your best advocate for two reasons. One, you live with the symptoms and know how they feel and two, you are the one that has been there through it all and will continue to be there for the rest of it. So making sure you are comfortable in handling the appointments is huge for you and your future health.
Stay tuned on my other platforms as I did deeper into strategies on YouTube the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month. I also post daily posts on social media with a question so engage. All my links can be found on @surviveyourstruggle | Linktree so follow, like, comment and please share! You never know who needs this so they don’t feel alone.
~ Peace and Love Warriors ~
Survive Your Struggle 