39 Pearls of Wisdom

Tomorrow is my birthday and I wanted to celebrate it in more of an intentional way that reflected my closing of a chapter (my 3rd decade) and channeling it in a way that didn’t just serve me but others.

I did a lot of research on birthdays including statistics as well as meanings of the numbers and colors. What I found was that birthdays ending in 9’s cause people to become more reflective. I also found that the number 39 is a divine number of inspiration. It is related to creativity, communication, optimism, imagination and spiritual enlightenment. “Number 39 is a message from the divine realm to focus on your soul mission and life purpose, connect to higher powers, and to pursue your true desires.”

With thinking of my desire to do something different and intentional along with this research I decided to write about 39 Pearls of Wisdom I have learned throughout my life in hopes to connect with what I feel my life’s purpose is. So you may ask, what do you feel your life’s purpose is? That is an answer I can confidently say is to leave the world better than I found it (thanks Girl Scouts) by reaching people to let them know they aren’t alone and to inspire others to be a light sharing kindness and their insight to help others. One by one, we can unite in connection rather than focusing on differences (though important for growth at times, but shouldn’t be all or even the majority of what we put our energy into). I believe we are all connected and through unity can come peace, which as much as that sounds like something from a beauty pageant, is truly what my heart desires!

Now I will share the Pearls of Wisdom along with some insight as to how I learned this, why it hold value to me and how it connects with the theme of divine unity. I know this is a long blog, but hang in there and I hope you find it worth it.

1. MISTAKES ARE LESSSONS AS LONG AS YOU LEARN SOMETHING FROM THEM. I truly believe as humans it in our nature to make “mistakes” because perfection doesn’t exist. It is with this I believe we all can take kernels of understanding to learn thus growing us into a better version of ourselves. Therapy and acceptance of others has helped me truly gather insight that I am not bad or wrong from what I have done as long as I take accountability, take action in remorse along with changing from what that lesson taught me. If we can start accepting everyone that is human will make a mistake, we can have a better understanding of each other to become more compassionate (not only to others but also to ourselves).
2. SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH. A bonus pearl is that it looks different for everyone at different times, meaning it isn’t always bath bombs and chocolates. For me learning the importance of self care has been a long and roller coaster of a journey that I am truthfully still on. I am constantly learning which I think is much attributed to how the importance is still be not just learned but accepted in society. Self Care for me make look different from time to time but also looks different for each of us. Having that insight has helped me give myself grace to know that if I don’t take care of me, there will be no me to help others! It’s like putting your oxygen mask on first, we have to fill our cup but nurturing ourselves in ways that are needed and necessary for us to grow which is then when we can help others.
3. Following that I feel it is important to address that REST IS NOT LAZINESS! So often I have struggled with grasping the fact that I have to sit back at times, can’t work full time (hell even part time caused enough health issues to flare) and have to do things while pacing myself which is often slower than many. In clarification, rest isn’t just sleep. Rather it can be closing your eyes for a few minutes, maybe it is laying horizontal under a weighted blanket for a short time, putting in ear buds to close out the noise, choosing to have a day of No to everyone else and you take it slow and easy or maybe it truly is taking a nap to have a complete sensory break. No matter what rest looks like to you, it is so important that we have an awareness that it truly is different for everyone but also that without rest, we wouldn’t be able to recharge. Even batteries die, cars run out of gas and even water evaporates – these idioms show us that everything needs to be replenished so we aren’t being lazy by slowing down (in a society that truly could grasp this lesson better) or resting – we are simply taking care of ourselves!
4. BE STILL WITH YOURSELF, GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE QUIET. 5 years ago, if you told me this I would have laughed in your face yet here I am sharing it with you. It was when I finally embraced being still with myself that I started to gain insight and understanding of who I was. Truth be told I didn’t like sitting quiet at first because it was so weird and I had to constantly redirect myself to be calm, still and quiet my mind. In time I was able to do that but then I didn’t like what I was realizing about myself so I knew I was learning things about my truest self and who I was being was not how I wanted to be remembered. Not to say I was living a bad life, just not one that suited my truest self. I encourage you to start this journey, recognize how you feel and get curious about yourself but please be patient because it is in the journey we learn so much.
5. Speaking of being patient, SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE SO YOU MUST PACE YOURSELF. This has been a hard one for me to learn, then understand, let alone embrace and please know I am coming from a place on this from being in the trenches too. In society, this is shown as a fault or lack of ability similarly to how society doesn’t grasp the theory of rest well, nor is the slow and steady pace accepted. This is a lesson I seem to keep relearning and being reminded the importance of, though every time I learn it the struggle is different yet I learn something new each time. The most recent time was when I got covid in February 2023 and the virus attacked my body on so many levels, flaring issues I had and creating new ones to overcome. I lost the ability to write, speak, eat, stand and walk (btw I get to start Physical Therapy on the 8th so I am super excited!). With relearning basic life skills, I also had to relearn how to pace myself along with accepting that the way I did or still have to do things aren’t “perfect.” So in addition to relearning skills and pacing, we starting focusing on relearning framework. “Progress Not Perfection” became my motto as well as every baby step counts because it is still a step. If you think about a ladder, you can just jump to the top, you need the steps in between. With all of this and learning new things, I also had to relearn to embrace failure. Much like my first pearl, without mistakes/lessons we don’t learn and that goes the same for failure. If we are “perfect” at everything from go, how do we appreciate the journey or the outcome, how do we share with others on their journeys? I would find the baby steps and gain excitement which led to hope that this slow turtle can beat the hare time and time again if I just keep focus and belief that failure teaches me things, there is no perfection so strive to make progress and take it slow pacing myself; and slowly I will move mountains!
6. This next pearl is one of the many silver lings or blessings in disguise from covid, MAKE YOUR HOME A PLACE YOU WANT TO ESCAPE TO. At first, I had so much fun creating ideas on how to make things less scary and chaotic like virtual vacations/traveling, dance parties with glow stick in balloons to make it different, recreating game shows, etc. Then things started to get harder and as I looked around I noticed clutter and it didn’t make me happy, no I didn’t watch Marie Kondo but I did like the logic. I started making intentional choices with Nick, my hubby, on how we wanted certain rooms to feel and what brought us that sense. We started looking into colors, smells, feels and basically all the senses because we wanted a sense of identity. For example, in our living room we have a blue accent wall, grey furniture, a coffee table that says “Be Honest With Your Words” along with a few decorations, a plant, a console table to hold the blankets in an organized fashion as well as blue bird coaster. In this room we wanted to emulate the blue bird and nature as we see out the patio door. Every room has an identity without clutter and for me that gives me a sense of calm and peace as I look around. When things started to build up on the counters or ledges again I could feel myself getting anxious, it was then I realized that it wasn’t just my physical space I needed to keep clean but also my mental space. I started to pay attention to what I was feeding my body of input. Was it countless hours on social media or was it intentional podcast topics? The difference helps us support ourselves in a supportive way, just like keeping our spaces (mental and physical) clean, tidy and free of anxiety and negative emotions.
7. Something during this current journey in my life that has been more challenging has been the ability GET OUTSIDE but oh how I miss it (minus the cold) because I get such joy from seeing the sun, different colors and feeling the fresh air on my skin. Obviously winter in Minnesota isn’t the easiest for a wheelie (person in a wheelchair) to get outside, though yes we have had a milder year it has still had many challenges. Yet, the benefits are still important for me to try. If you’re not aware, you don’t quite get the same benefits from a SAD/bright white light or even by a window the sun is hitting because it has to do with the wavelengths from the sun affecting our bodies. Some benefits are mental health, balancing circadian rhythm to help aid in alertness and sleep, digestion, heart rate and blood pressure, absorb minerals, improves focus and creativity, and so many more – the best thing is that it’s FREE! Some tips about outside time is right away in the morning to signify wake time like the sun and also to wear sunscreen. The tan isn’t worth the risk we often face later in life like damage to our skins texture and the potential of melanoma.
8. I notice often, even in myself, something we often try to protect ourselves with is not being vulnerable but rather VULNERABILITY IS A STRENTH, NOT A WEAKNESS. I have to say this was a huge reminder to me when watching The Bachelor as Joey was so intentional and how the ladies felt safe talking to him. We aren’t meant to share everything with everyone but instead those that have our trust and respect what we tell them is personal. To be vulnerable means to share things that can be hard, painful, raw and heavy yet having that safety as the ladies did to have someone to share that with, or even with ourselves, allows us to deepen relationships, grow and learn as well as help us discover we are enough while improving our self awareness. It is important to be vulnerable with others as well as ourselves, check in with yourself! Brene Brown explains that “Vulnerability is at the core of shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness. Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, and belonging. To find joy, creativity, and belonging, we must face what it means to be vulnerable: shame, fear, and the struggle for worthiness.” This shows doing all this hard work and effort, it isn’t weak at all, vulnerability is a true strength!
9. If you are new to this page you may be wondering how I came up with the name Survive Your Struggle – Don’t Let it Defeat or Define You. I believe that things happen in our lives is only a part of us, a line or chapter in our book of life, a moment in time but really in the grand scheme of everything – it isn’t who we are! I am someone who battles a lot of health issues and have for a long time but that isn’t who I am entirely. If we think about our life as a book, it won’t just have Sarah Condon is a chronic health puzzle, instead it might say Sarah Condon is a person who overcame the odds when they were stacked against here over and over again, someone who never wanted to accept life couldn’t be better and that she could help change the world. Every part of my life and choices I have made does make up who I become, where I end up but it’s only the lines and chapters that help explain who I am as the main character in my life. So who are you? Remember, you’re not what you have or what has happened to you, who are you really?
10. In 2019, I had a dissociative episode that led me to a different type of therapy (EMDR) where I learned a phrase “SEE IT, DON’T BE IT.” What this meant was to imagine the feeling or emotion as a tornado, something you don’t want to get wrapped up in because you don’t truthfully know where you’ll end up or even if you would be ok. As you imagine the tornado, you see what is going on and can honor the feeling/emotion but you don’t let it consume you, spinning you out of control, for too long. It is important not to stuff feelings down and it is equally important to not get sucked into them making them our identity. In some cultures, they say they unwell, others say sadness is upon them yet here we put the feeling with our identity. “I am sad, I am anxious” and so on when really we are unwell with sadness upon us and that is why it is more intentional to say that we are feeling sad, anxious or whatever emotion to separate the emotion (tornado) from our identity. Something fun we do is have a pity party which entails a comedy/comedian, pizza, snacks, ice cream so basically junk (I know later this will sound contradictory but hang in there) to cope with bad news we just got, something bad that happened or whatever the super hard scenario is. We don’t do this all the time and we move forward (more to come later) leaving that pity at that party after we clean up. It is a chance for us to sit in our emotion while actively working on getting out of that emotion through the comedy before we move forward.
11. Another tactic I have learned about emotional regulation/management is to NOT LET ANXIETY TAKE THE DRIVER’S SEAT meaning even when you feel anxious, you still get to be in control. Something interesting I found is that anxiety as well as many chronic mental health issues, doesn’t have an on/off switch but instead it has a dimmer switch. This helped me realize that I will have to work on this day in and day out but that I can have some control which is soothing. As before, where we separated our emotion from our identity, now we are going to imagine as someone hanging out with us in the car. Taking identity back to ourselves and making the feeling something or someone else, heck it could even be a blob of a color, just give it something you can identify it as; this gives us that separation to take another step, move forward (again more on that later) and stand for ourselves. It also gives us the chance to speak to it or about it in a different sense. I will often say “I see you, I feel you and I am ok, I am safe” because something in us is trying to be protective when at some point we needed that but now we need to show anxiety that we are ok, letting them sit in the back seat or if you wish let it take a ride in the trunk.
12. YOUR ARE A SURVIVOR, NOT A VICTIM, this is important to remember to shift our perspective allowing us to heal and overcome. Yes, I have gone through abuse in life from different people in different ways as well as medical trauma but the facts of my trauma isn’t necessary to explain my point. You understand I have a past of trauma but I choose to live above that pain. Believe me, I still experience hardness and actively work on it in therapy but I choose to be above it by making my pain my purpose which is how I can relate to others, by doing something about it to better the world. Taking that control and making it positive or a learning experience means that yes you feel the emotion, hurt and darkness but you choose to shine light through it and because of it. In life, not so good things are going to happen but it how we choose to handle those things that sets apart the survivor from the victim.
13. So far, I feel like I have been talking about things to help support ourselves but I would be remiss if I didn’t make sure to say DON’T BE TOO PROUD TO ASK FOR HELP. This can be personal, professional, or both in many ways. Often times I feel that we a society put it on ourselves we should know how or be able to do something but in illness I get reminded through recovery that we need help in so many ways. If we would call an ambulance for a heart attack, why can’t crisis lines be called during panic attacks. If we take our medication for diabetes, why is it so wrong to take our anti-depressants? The truth is they are the same thing, they both support our needs and that is the important thing. It is ok to ask for help and much like vulnerability, it’s a strength. You would also not believe how many people out there still have huge hearts that want to help, all we have to do is ask (and be patient).
14. A little trick I learned years ago is to DRESS THE WAY YOU WANT TO FEEL to trick the mind. Our brains are ironically super gullible and impressionable yet super powerful and smart! With this trick, I was told to live and dress how I wanted the day to be and feel. This meant on days I was feeling sad to put on the sparkly earrings even though sparkly and shiny was the furthest from my feelings. Trust me there were many days, I wore sweats with my earrings jut because so when you wake up and feel a little heaviness go grab something that brings you joy and make that be a part of your day.
15. I don’t know about you but something I struggle with a lot is comparison. I have recently learned to COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF YOU, NOT TO OTHERS which allows you to be your own competition. When we try competing with others, we are setting ourselves up for complete and utter failure because we are all unique and not one of us is the same so why do we torture ourselves looking at highlight reels and pictures striving for something that isn’t who we are. Now that isn’t to say that things can’t inspire us to grow and become better versions of ourselves but I love the fact of measure our success on something to what we were before, not someone else who lives an entirely different life.
16. Throughout this health journey I have learned over and over again that OUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL ARE ALL CONNECTED. I would work on one thing and occupational therapy would teach me but then the next day another provider of a different specialty would explain the same need (often was pacing) in a different way for a different reason. Pieces started to connect and I realized that what I was doing, eating, watching, feeling was all affecting how my body (mentally and physically) would perform. I started to work with providers on how to help support my body, to take care of it the best I could, and we talked about changing supplements, brands, what I eat, hydration, how I sleep as well as adding in journaling, joyful activities and much more. What it all boils down to is what we eat can affect our skin, mood, digestion as well as brain function and the same for whatever way to intake anything from news to doctor appointments to social media. It is so important to mindful of what we put in, on or around our bodies because that is our foundation, our temple and something we truly need to cherish as much as possible!
17. This next one is a doozy and is one of those easier said than done deals but so dag on vital to our well being! FORGIVE! So powerful, it only needs one word but you read the word and oofda, you get hit with so many thoughts and emotions. As I said earlier I have lived through some hardness in my life that wasn’t caused my me so I was so confused on how to forgive someone that caused me so much pain, even to this day I am in pain because of them/situation. I have learned that forgiveness and forgetting are very different things as well as the fact that forgiveness is freedom for me. When we hold onto grudges and traumas we are physically hurting ourselves, affecting so many systems in our body to be affected, not just the brain or emotions. It however, is super hard and requires you to be in the ability to truly look within and open your perspective. Find out if you have any accountability or your part in the situation and address that with openness and honesty. Forgiveness cannot include blame. The intention of forgiveness is to allow peace and freedom within yourself and that doesn’t mean you become naive. I found working with a therapist helped as well as writing things down then burning them and truly just letting it go once I said I forgive you. A huge part that I am just currently learning is forgiveness all needs to include self forgiveness to help heal the extra emotions we put on ourselves after something happens. With all of this it will help us heal, make peace and ultimately allow the past not to affect our future.
18. Something I have asked my daughter for years is “When you are 80 years old, sitting in your rocking chair on your front porch, sipping your sweet tea or lemonade, are you going to ask yourself or still be talking about this one thing? This is a lesson I have tried to teach of why we need to do what Elsa teaches us and LET IT GO. This is one of those easier said than done things though! I was once told to use my emotion or feeling to get me to a place of action and after that is done to let the rest go and give myself permission to be free. This has been something big in friendships, parenting and my health primarily but it does show up elsewhere too. So ask yourself next time you are holding onto something, will it still be as hard or even important when you’re 80?
19. GRIEF COMES IN WAVES is another lesson I am learning in a different way than I ever thought I would. So for me, yes I have had grief of losing loved ones and pets, my main grief is about things I struggle with or simply can’t do because of my health. I miss so much and at times I feel ok and content about that knowing that I have also had other opportunities some may not get or taking into consideration what the situation as a whole means. I have noticed though some days are just super hard and those are the days grief is thrashing on the shore and nearby rock on the coast while other days are soft and gentle. The magical days are when I don’t have it rise at all, those are truly a gift of peace and stillness! Mostly though there is something and I recognize that it is here and address it with logic and compassion.
20. Grief and other emotions as well as certain life events can sometimes put us in a place where we need to MOVE FORWARD NOT MOVE ON. So many times I hear others say and to be fair I used to say it that we just need to move on or that time heals but in reality we aren’t just moving on or healing we are instead moving forward in a new norm and have accepted the situation but don’t forget. To me healing can be a tricky word because we aren’t over it but we nurture it so with situations and grief I am reluctant to say healed as I feel that is a part of us still. I do however have a strong passion about moving forward and while yes depending on our situation or loss may mean it is still relevant in our daily lives yet we still live differently through it. Things happen in our life that do change us but we have the power and control to choose how we let it change us and how to move forward.
21. This next pearl is a loaded word in itself, PERSPECTIVE, which can strike feelings, thoughts and emotions to the core. I feel that perspective is something that helps us grow and evolve, also while coloring the world to have nothing be entirely the same. With not everyone being the same it gives a struggle we may not always agree but at the same time it does give us the opportunity to listen for kernels of truth that we can identify with. When we listen and learn from other we then grow our perspective wider. There is nothing anywhere that says we all have to agree on everything and to be honest that sounds rather boring to me if everyone was the same. This reminds me of the song True Colors because the world is such colorful place and being so makes it that much more beautiful!
22. NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW SOMEONE’S STORY, it is along the lines of never judge a book by its cover. I feel it’s important to gain perspective (see what I did there) with knowledge and understanding. Knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss. It is our responsibility to ask questions to gain an understanding and approach the situation with compassion in a delicate nature. If a person chooses not to tell you the story or the whole story and that is their right so then you need to do what works for you and protects your soul. I just hate to hear hurtful things said before an awareness is made, it has been done to me and ones I love and care for far too much so if we approach the world in a compassionate way we can make a difference.
23. A phrase Nick taught me is THE GRASS IS GREENER WHERE YOU WATER IT and this can go for any type of relationship truly. The base of this means to nurture and take care of your relationship as you would water your grass. If you don’t water your grass it will dwindle and die, much the same in relationships. It is really important to do this with communication, transparency, being intentional, and continuing to learn and understand the other person. Another way to look at this is that we can water the world with kindness rather than spreading hate and negativity.
24. Much in the spirit of learning from our mistakes as lessons, we can also LEARN FROM OTHERS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS. Through this motion and intention we gain understanding and another level of respect for one another. When things may end as certain people and things happen in our lives for a reason, we may not know the reason for a long time, but I believe people are in our life for whatever reason and however long that reason takes to be met. This can happen with friends you grow apart with, lose or change a job or maybe significant others you end things with. Regardless of the situation, it is important to search for how the relationship affected me, what did it show me, what did I learn about myself and what I want for myself? Answering questions, becoming curious is a great opportunity to grow and keep evolving into the greatest person we can become. On the flipside, I don’t think a relationship should ever be given the power to change or take away the goodness in you! Another perspective is that we can continually learn form those that come before us. They come from a place of so much wisdom and insight, offering us the chance to admire, respect and honor them. A great way to do this is truly listen to them and use the knowledge they put upon us empowering the world to learn, grow and overcome.
25. Something that may sound super corny and cheesy though being so true is to LIVE A LIFE OF GRATITUDE which isn’t being ignorant to the hard days rather a deliberate choice made daily (sometimes multiple times a day) to find moments of gratitude. I saw a quote that made me think of this topic, “When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars” just signifying the importance of where we put our focus is more of what we will see. This lifestyle helps the soul to continually be recharged and keep going even through the hard times because we have a belief that something good can happen to be grateful for. Sometimes for me it is simply a hot coffee in the morning and that’s ok, even when the day is hard we can still go to bed being grateful for this day.
26. NOTHING IS PERMANENT and that can be both comforting and unsettling at the same time. To throw a positive spin on it, we can have the understanding that everything is temporary in the hard moments assuring that this “too shall pass” (a very well known quote) while holding that same understanding in the good moments to cherish them. Something that helps me with this phrase and taking the intensity of it down a notch, is to be mindful. I have truly been reminded that life is short all to often and that hard moments seem easier to focus on so when I am mindful I put all my focus and intention into that moment or activity to take all I can from it.
27. It is very important to NEVER STOP LEARNING! I know we talked earlier about learning from those that came before us, from our relationships as well as things that have happened in our lives. This is more about our education never being complete and trying to challenge our brains by learning something new. Whether it’s that cooking class you have always wanted to take, a language you wanted to learn or maybe something you wanted to go back to school for. It is important to not limit ourselves allowing us so much room for growth. It has been said that the “comfort zone” is our enemy so when we continue to learn we are basically winning a duel with the enemy, who mind you doesn’t want to see you succeed. Once we start getting comfortable stepping outside our comfort zone, the world is truly infinite!
28. I don’t remember where I initially heard this, honestly think it may have been Judge Judy but regardless it stuck with me. YOU HAVE 2 EARS AND 1 MOUTH, THIS MEANS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU SPEAK. I know I am guilty of this still at times so we will call this a work in progress but I do try the best. Something someone taught me is to pause before I speak and again I’m still practicing daily on that one. Another cool pearl of wisdom about this is that I learned a while back the difference of hearing and listening so while we have the 2 ears, we need to make sure not to just hear the other person but truly listen and be active in that. I feel like so much is quick to go wrong when times happen of not truly listening to others because that gives us the opportunity to help grow personally and in relationships with others, long story short it goes a long way to help change the world with each conversation.
29. THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS RARELY THE RIGHT CHOICE! Let that sink in, wow right! I am one of those people who gets really strong gut feelings or knowings and while I blessed, I do feel it can be a curse because sometimes I would love to be wrong. The show What Would You Do, I feel encapsulates this thought very well as they put actors in scenarios that we should speak up and do the right thing even though it is uncomfortable and super hard! This goes hand in hand with getting out of our comfort zone too, really if we are comfortable is that the east route or the necessary route? When we come at life intentionally we gain the ability to live in our truest self and for me that is leaving the world better than I found in some way so that means making the right choice no matter how hard.
30. Throughout my life I have struggled with spirituality and in my adult years I have discovered that I truly believe in the power of the universe. I believe that the more we speak of our intentions and what we want in life, the universe puts signs where and when they need to be as long as we keep an open mind. With this logic, I also truly believe in karma that whatever we put out into this world will come back to us tenfold like a boomerang. I do also recognize others have different beliefs and feel that this can be adapted to fit into their lives.
31. GIVING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RECIEVING, is not something my childhood self wanted to hear on Christmas morning or when shopping for a friend’s birthday party gift. In reality, it so beyond true as relieving for me at least. I am that person that likes to do sunshine gifts (a gift of yellow things), or really thinking about what the other person is interested in as well as their personality. This yes can be a challenge but truthfully, it brings me so much joy! Seeing the smile, getting a big hug or simply hearing a thank you just warms my heart. I feel like when we make time to think of others (this is not intended to take away from our own needs) we live more abundantly by helping, caring and loving others. In addition to writing this blog, for my birthday I am doing 39 acts of kindness because I feel giving helps others feel seen and I love making sure people don’t feel alone. This isn’t a one day thing and I am hoping to get help from the community but it is my birthday wish this year to stay true to what I found out about turning 39.
32. QUANTITY IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS QUALITY, and this goes for food too (hahaha) but in all honesty this is a lesson that took me maybe longer than it should have or I thought it should but that’s ok because I still learned it and now I can share with you. Finding a friend or maybe a few friends that truly get who you are, where you can just be you and not need to belong trying to be someone else is such a precious gift. I know social media shines the lens of likes, shares, followers and all that but really does that fulfill you? Will those followers have your back with the purist of intentions? I don’t think so anyways, yes there are some great people out there or at least I choose to believe so but having someone that gets your spirit is something having a few is just a ok!
33. A quote that was shared with us when the girls were younger and in the heart of their health issues was to HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST which allowed us to have some control over our reactions. So often we would leave an appointment feeling devastated because we envisioned something completely different, and yes the flip side was amazing when it went better than expected but being honest that wasn’t the norm for us. Once we started gathering evidence and knowledge we were able to be better prepared for multiple outcomes and could try to visualize our reactions or at least how we would prefer them go. This helped the nerves during the appointments as well as how we came up with treatment plans. After having all that, you go in hoping for the best case scenario channeling that into the universe but knowing you got this if there is something else in store.
34. Nick is one of the best at this pearl because he can get me to laugh even when I don’t think it’s possible so he reminds me DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. In therapy I was instructed to schedule joy in my day, which yes as to many things some days are easier than others. Sometimes in a hurry for a long day it means a stop at Kwik Trip for a donut so I know I did something, other times it means listening and singing to music for hours. The important thing is to make sure you have options that are readily available as well as some that don’t cost money so you don’t have to fret about that hurdle. This lifestyle helps so we don’t become too busy to live. We get to create a life that we can look forward to, coming up with dreams and making them goals. Having goals and dreams help us move forward, they give us hope for brighter days.
35. This one may sound silly in comparison to the topics I have written about but a struggle I had as a young adult formed the importance as well as it’s not really taught much anymore. LEARN TO UNDERSTAND YOUR FINANCES! I like to do this in a way that brings my OCD heart joy with organizers galore (Nick even likes them so that is a win too) as well as making it a game so it becomes more enticing. I used to struggle with finances but more specifically the thought of bills and such, making it a negative experience. Once I was able to shift that thought process, it became easier and I actually enjoyed it. Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to not give my money away but the situation is reality in adulting. I even taught Junior Achievement for a while and did “mom school” over the summers to help the girls understand money in many aspects. I feel if we understand it we can be wiser with it. Nick and I have a monthly competition of who has the better credit score or who had a better increase, it’s the little things but it works for us and adds fun.
36. I learned early on that it wasn’t important to me to chase the money, I chose happiness but a further lesson is A GOOD REPUTATION IS MORE VALUABLE THAN MONEY. I feel like this takes it a step further and amplifies the importance of being true to who you are, to your foundation and values/morals. This isn’t just the job you have but how you speak to others as well as what you do (not job per se). When you can nurture your character you build a positive reputation which can open doors as much as the money to buy a doorknob. Money can’t buy happiness and greed will kill you is another saying I have heard that sums up money being a tool that can’t solve anything. Yes you can buy things but what do those things do for you in the end and remember you can’t take the money with you when you leave this world. Make your money and do things that bring you joy, don’t worry so much on making a certain amount as long as you can pay your bills.
37. Truth be told this pearl came from a TV show, Virgin River. It was said that “HOME IS A PLACE YOU GROW UP WANTING TO LEAVE, AND GROW OLD WANTING TO GET BACK TO” and I feel this means we want our independence so bad by the time we graduate that we temporarily forget the relationships and traditions that meant so much to us. I know for me I couldn’t wait to leave but now I can wholeheartedly say I love hanging out with my mom and my brother because I have gained a sense of appreciation for what I had while remembering time is a thief so I choose to cherish what I can when I can with them. As my girls are currently in this phase, I have hope they too will remember the traditions and relationships we had as we enter a new chapter in life wanting to come back home (in the sense not necessarily figuratively).
38. While we do yearn to go back home in a sense, IN THE END, WE ONLY HAVE OURSELVES and while that may sound morbid it is the reality of life. This is why it is so important to be truthful to ourselves as we go forward, living a life of transparency, compassion and understanding. We need to make sure we walk the talk we preach of, knowing sometimes that means putting the effort in as a practice until we get there. The actions we take and the words we speak have value so they have the highest value of needed to be done with intention to reflect the person we want to be remembered as. In the end to be someone we can stand and choose to be around as well as someone to be proud of what we have said, done and become is a great blessing.
39. Last but not lease, I have a simple quote from the lovely Dolly Parton “IF YOU SEE SOMEONE WITHOUT A SMILE, GIVE THEM ONE OF YOURS”. I believe smiling is contagious and simply put you may not know the importance it makes on someone’s day. Of all the things we can spread in the world, join me in spreading kindness through smiles.

There you have it, 39 Pearls of Wisdom I have learned throughout my life in different ways. I truly believe understanding these things can help me, help us become better versions of ourselves.

“Kindness is a language in which the deaf can hear and the blind can see” ~ Mark Twain